


The Pain of Rejection

by Rubylipz



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Angst, F/F, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-01 15:38:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubylipz/pseuds/Rubylipz
Summary: Lena Luthor is hopeful she might just have a chance with Kara Danvers. But when a misunderstanding comes between them, Lena begins to question if she'll ever be good enough for anyone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set in 2x12 after Supergirl saves Lena, and veers off from there. This is my first work so I really hope you enjoy it. Thank you to my amazing girlfriend for supporting me, and also my friend Bappythegayshark on Tumblr for helping me with the grammatical errors, you're the real MVP.

_“I’m so sorry, Lena. I just… I have to go.”_

Lena clenched her jaw and willed away the words Kara told her less than an hour before. She carefully slid her key into her apartment lock, and let herself in. Dropping all of her belongings to the floor, not bothering to hang her coat, she headed straight to the bathroom. 

After what transpired in her office, all Lena wanted was a long, hot shower to calm her nerves. With shaking hands, she took off her jewelry, let down her hair, and slowly peeled off her clothing.

The heat of the water shocked her skin. But as it burned through her flesh and deep into her muscles, she could slowly feel her body begin to relax. She rested her palms against the cool tile, turning her head down as the water cascaded down her back.

She soaked it in for a while, not realizing just how tightly wound she was the entire ride home. Too soon, though, the memory of what happened was back at the forefront of her mind.

She kissed Kara Danvers.

Not a small peck on the cheek. No, that probably wouldn’t have scared Kara the way it did. This was a full-fledged, searing hot kiss to the lips. One that she had been holding back since Kara “tagged along” with Clark Kent for an “interview”.

Kara had been so nervous, fidgeting and stuttering, it was quite endearing. It somehow made her feel comfortable enough to share about her adoption and relationship with Lex to a complete stranger- maybe it was the tenderness behind those deep blue eyes that had done it. But somehow Kara understood completely when she told her she just wanted to make a name for herself, and Lena never wanted to kiss someone more.

Then as fate would have, Kara had saved her from that helicopter the same exact day.

And of course she knew Kara was Supergirl. Lena was many things, but an idiot was not one of them (not to mention a pair of glasses is literally the worst disguise ever).

Lena admits, she was initially thrown for a loop. The strong and confident Supergirl who saved her in the helicopter was a stark contrast to the shy and nervous woman that stood in her office. But after the initial shock, she could see those subtle similarities shining through.

First it was the obvious things: the same flowing blonde hair. The same piercing blue eyes. But as she slowly grew closer to the kind, sensitive woman, it was the crinkle between her eyes when she was upset or thinking. The small scar that adorned her left brow. The same burning desire to do everything in her power for good.

And it couldn’t be a coincidence that “both” women were suddenly making appearances in her life more and more. That “both” women suddenly believed in her with such conviction it shook her to the very core. No, they had to be one in the same person. 

But that in itself had its own set of challenges. They were simply too different. They were black and white. (No matter how she wished Kara would turn her gray.) Kara was pure light. She was barely a spark in the void.

And they were enemies by blood.

_How could I be so **stupid**? How could a Super ever want to be with a Luthor?_

She sighed and began to lather herself up. Small tentative movements at first, but as the anger rose inside her, Lena wished she had something coarser. Something that would scrape deep into soft flesh and leave it raw. Maybe if she scrubbed hard enough, she could wash away her embarrassment. The pain and the rejection. All the sins she’s ever committed, maybe even her very name and being. 

How Lena wished it were that easy. To shed her skin and become someone new. Someone worthy of love. Someone worthy of Kara. 

She rinsed and shut the water off, the knobs squeaking softly in protest. As she pulled back the shower curtain, the cold air rushed in and made her shiver. She reached for a towel and wrapped it around herself tightly. With a deep sadness filling inside her, she made her way to the kitchen.

All Lena wanted now was her strongest glass of wine, and cursed herself for not having anything harder. She poured herself the first glass and quickly gulped it down, not caring that a small amount dribbled down her jaw. Then she poured another, and downed it just the same. And another. The alcohol made her feel light, and she was grateful for the feeling. She poured herself a final glass and decided to resign to her bedroom for the night. 

She opened her bedroom door, not bothering to turn on the light, and paused. Whatever light feeling she had earlier was quickly overtaken by the sight of her big, cold, empty bed. One that didn’t contain a certain blonde-haired girl with blazing blue eyes wrapped in her sheets. 

She sighed again. She shouldn’t think that way. Kara didn’t want her. And honestly? Who could really blame her. Being with a Luthor was dangerous. Lena knew that. How many times since she moved here has her life been threatened? How many times has she been accused of being the same dirty, conniving person Lex was, simply because they shared the same last name?

And how many times did Supergirl have to save her for that reason? It wasn’t fair. There were better people. People more deserving of being saved than her. And to take Supergirl away from those people: mothers, fathers, children, friends… Lena had no right to belong in that group. She didn’t deserve all that Kara had done for her.

She wiped at her now wet eyes, dropped her towel, and walked over to sit on the bed. She threw back her final glass of wine, and set it down on the nightstand. She should really change into her night clothes, but she just didn’t have the energy. So she settled her body under the blankets, and stared up into the darkness.

It was eerily quiet. The silence so loud it was deafening, and she wished she could hear Kara’s soft laugh in it’s place. It was amazing really, that she was lucky enough to hear it, even just for a little while. Amazing that she was somehow able to bring such a beautiful sound from Kara. How she was able to bring a genuine smile to her lips.

_“Well that’s what friends are for.”_

Had she completely imagined the hesitance when Kara had said “friends”? Had she really seen those longing looks Kara had given her- the ones that she held just a little too long? Or had she fabricated it all?

_“I’ve never had friends like you before… No one’s ever stood up for me like that.”_

_“Now you have someone who will stand up for you, always.”_

_“Kara Danvers, you are my hero.”_

It was true. No one has ever stood up for Lena. No one has ever believed in her the way Kara did. Perhaps she made up the whole thing because she didn’t know how to have friends, and she didn’t know the boundaries between a platonic friendship and something more. Maybe because she’s never had a real friendship in her life. And because she’s never had someone beside Lex who showed her love before. And if she was being completely honest with herself, deep down she wasn’t even sure Lex actually cared for her, or if she was just another pawn in his grand scheme.

But Kara did care for her. Kara made her feel so important. Kara made her feel better than she was- than she could ever hope to be. Kara made her feel **good**. And Lena almost believed she really could change her name into something positive. That she really could be the only good Luthor.

Until she ruined it with one kiss. 

God… She must have looked pathetic. All the times she blatantly flirted with Kara. And Kara, as sweet as ever, letting it pass, not once making her feel as dumb as she looked.

The pain in her chest was striking. A deep, all-consuming, crushing pain. Her bottom lip quivered at the memories. Why couldn’t she have been content with the friendship Kara had offered. It was more than she would ever deserve. Why did she have to be so selfish? 

Instead of being grateful, she pined and she fantasized. She fantasized that the budding friendship they had would turn into more. Fantasized of kissing Kara’s lips. Those impossibly soft lips. And when she looked into the sweetest eyes she’s ever known, she hoped. Hoped that the feelings she had for Kara could one day be returned. Hoped that maybe, just maybe, she could be good enough.

But Lena was wrong. She took it too far, overstepped her boundaries, and got rejection instead. Her hopes crushed. Her heart burned. 

The alcohol began to settle in, and the promise of sleep was too good to pass. So she closed her eyes, and as much as she tried not to, she couldn’t help but dream of Kara Danvers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In order not to confuse anyone, I'd like to say that this chapter takes you through what happened before Lena got home. (I'm sure ya'll would have figured it out, though. You're smart!) Enjoy!

It was early morning, and Lena was doing her best to look at the graphs and numbers before her first meeting of the day. She wanted to immerse herself in work, distracting her mind from Cadmus.

Lena knew her mother didn’t love her, that was no surprise, but she never would’ve thought Lillian would leave her to die in a kryptonite explosion in the mountainside. She supposed she really should have known better. All the times her mother emotionally manipulated her, telling her she loved her just to get what she wanted.

Revealing her father’s affair, pinning him as the reason she kept her distance and wasn’t a better mother. Telling Lena she really was a Luthor by blood, and being the only two left, they needed to stick together. It was all just a ploy to set Lena up, to use her once more.

Lex made Lena proud to be a Luthor, but once he went on his rampage on Metropolis and Superman, she no longer wanted anything to do with the name. She cherished that she only associated with it through legal documents, but knowing now that the same evil DNA coursed through her veins, Lena would be lying if she said she wasn’t completely terrified.

So Lena thought of something else, or rather some _one_ else. The only person who cared enough to stand up and fight for her throughout the whole debacle. The only person who didn’t make her feel afraid.

She thought of Kara, and how she stood up to her friends and family even when they were all convinced Lena was guilty. How Supergirl burst into Lex’s lair, even though a man filled with kryptonite, her biggest weakness, was waiting for her.

Lena was astonished when Supergirl showed up to save her, telling her, “Kara Danvers believes in you,” as her reasoning. It meant everything to Lena, and she would’ve happily died in that explosion knowing even one person was on her side.

Lena had to do something to show Kara her indebtedness. That the magnitude of all Kara (and Supergirl) had done was not lost on her. She owed Kara her life, and she was ready to spend the rest of that life paying the woman back. But how would she even begin?

She wanted to offer Kara the world. Shower her in gifts, get her everything money could buy, but she knew the hero would never accept. She didn’t care about material things.

What Lena needed was something small but meaningful, as soft and beautiful as Kara’s heart.

_Flowers._

She remembered when Kara saw the flowers on her coffee table and instantly took to them, commenting on their beauty.

There was a small knock on the door then, Jess’ head popping in through the opening.

“Ms. Luthor, your meeting is about to begin,” the secretary informed. Jess opened the door completely, leaning her back against it.

“Yes, thank you, Jess,” Lena nodded, lifting off her chair and walking towards the open door. “While I’m away, could you do me a favor?”

“Of course, Ms. Luthor, what is it?”

Lena smiled impossibly wide, “I’d like you to order a dozen bouquets of plumerias and have them sent to Kara Danvers’ office immediately. I want them waiting for her the moment she arrives at work. Perhaps throw in some roses for good measure.”

Jess gave Lena a knowing look. “Right away, Ms. Luthor. Anything else?”

“No, thank you, that’ll be all.”

Lena’s giddiness grew as she headed off to her meeting.

* * *

Kara stood in absolute awe as she took in the sight in front of her. Every inch of her desk, even parts of the floor, were covered in flowers.

The magnificence of them made her heart flutter. The plumerias were a bright white, with a soft hint of yellow adorning each of their centers. Mixed in were pink roses, not much, but just enough and expertly placed to bring a lovely contrast.

There was a small note attached with a “thank you” typed in an elegant font. There wasn’t a name indicating who they were from, but Kara didn’t need one to know exactly who sent them. These were the same flowers she had seen in Lena’s office weeks before, commenting on how they reminded her of her mother.

It amazed Kara that Lena would even remember something like that about her. Surely the CEO had more important things on her list, she was still in the process of changing the direction of her company, and in turn had countless business proposals lined up with the board. Yet somehow, Lena still managed to retain something so trivial, making it mean that much more.

She had to thank Lena in person for the thoughtful gift. She brought one of the bouquets up to her nose and inhaled gently, taking in the subtle scent as she pondered. She placed the vase back down her desk, took out her phone, and began going through the contacts. Her finger landed on Lena’s name. She tried not to read too much into how many hearts were placed by it.

**K: Hey, sorry to bother you, I’m sure you’re swamped at work… It’s just, I was thinking about you and was wondering if I could see you later?**

_Oh, shoot. Did that come off too strong? Did that sound too “date-y”?_

**K: I mean, my article on you was just printed and I was hoping to bring you a copy before it hit the shelves tomorrow?**

Kara couldn’t understand why she was so anxious as she waited on Lena’s reply. She was _Supergirl_. An other-worldly being with godlike powers, who fought off rogue aliens and saved the entire planet in her spare time, yet a simple text to Lena set her whole nervous system into overdrive.

The ticking minutes felt like hours, and Kara was beginning to worry she may have scared off her friend, until finally-

**L: Hello, Kara. You would be right to assume that I am currently swamped at work, but you are always a welcome distraction. I would be delighted to see you and read your article, come by L-Corp after work?**

* * *

“It’s a good article,” she smiled at the woman next to her, “you flatter me.” She placed the CatCo magazine down, a white “Innocent” splayed across the cover, and turned to face the writer who sat with her on the couch.

They sat closely, their knees barely an inch from touching, their bodies turning in towards each other.

“I only wrote the truth,” Kara quickly replied, throwing up her hand, smiling softly, feigning as if she hadn’t single-handedly proved Lena’s innocence.

Kara wiped her palm against her knee, swallowing subtly. It made Lena wonder if Kara was as nervous as she was. The last time they were in this office together, Lena was being arrested for a crime she didn’t commit. But Kara had defended her, even when everything pointed against her.

“I’m learning to keep digging, even when all the evidence points one way,” Kara confided, blue eyes boring into Lena’s. “There’s always another side.”

“Even when it’s hard to find.”

“ _Especially_ when it’s hard to find.”

A small pause.

Lena’s heart was pounding, her mind racing. She stole a quick glance at Kara’s lips. They had a shimmer to them, and Lena wondered what flavored lip gloss she was wearing. The thought of stealing a quick taste entering her mind, but thought better of it, it was dangerous territory, so she darted her eyes downwards.

That was a mistake when she took notice of Kara’s skirt, realizing just how much leg was showing. She let her eyes soak in the expanse of smooth skin, almost forgetting she was having a conversation.

“So my office is overflowing with flowers,” Kara cut in playfully.

“ _Really?_ ” she flirted back, scrunching her brows and opening her mouth, faking a shocked gasp.

The teasing made Kara giggle, the sound delighting Lena’s ears. It was quickly becoming her favorite sound, and she allowed herself to imagine making Kara laugh every day.

A small smile played at soft pink lips, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, I did,” Lena defended. “Supergirl told me it was you who sent her, I don’t know how to thank you.”

She knew how she wanted to thank Kara. She wanted to kiss Kara with such conviction it would shatter her entire world. She wanted to give Kara every part of her until she had nothing left. She wanted to love Kara so fiercely it would set them both ablaze.

She wanted Kara.

“Well, that’s what _friends_ are for,” Kara sighed deeply, like the words themselves were weighted, like they _hurt_.

Maybe it was all in her head, but Lena could’ve swore it bothered Kara using the word “friend”. Maybe it burned her lips coming out the same way it burned Lena’s. Maybe, just maybe, she wanted something more, too.

“I’ve never had friends like you before,” she confessed, moving herself closer, daring herself to be brave. “Come to think of it, I’ve never had family like you…” She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “No one’s ever stood up for me like that.”

“Now you have someone who will stand up for you, always,” Kara promised.

And those were the words that broke her and healed her all at once. The words chipped away at Lena’s walls brick by brick, but she had never felt more safe. All the cracks that threatened to break Lena suddenly filling in. Her eyes locked onto Kara’s then. Her resolve absolute.

“Well, Supergirl may have saved me but, Kara Danvers, _you_ are my hero.”

Lena reached her hand out, brushing Kara’s hair behind her ear, twisting her fingers into golden locks at the nape of the blonde’s neck. She pulled Kara into a hug, feeling strong arms snake around her waist, enveloping her in a steadying warmth. Lena’s pulse quickened, her mouth going dry thinking about what she was going to do next.

She pulled back slightly, her green eyes searching Kara’s face for any hesitance, but instead received a tender smile. And then her mouth was on Kara’s, her breath hitching, light-headed with the feeling of incredibly supple lips against hers.

She was kissing Kara Danvers.

The kiss was slow and chaste, the taste of strawberries filling her senses. She tightened her hold on Kara’s hair, and she felt steady hands grip her waist in kind. Lena moaned as Kara began to lean back on the couch, pulling their bodies together, the heat rising between them. She could feel Kara’s stomach ripple under the sweater she wore.

This was happening. This was _real_.

Lena deepened the kiss, her tongue running across Kara’s bottom lip, begging for entrance. She felt Kara whimper, nails digging, granting Lena access. Her mouth was hot, and it set Lena’s soul on fire.

She wanted more.

And then Kara was pushing Lena away, like she had just been burned. The look on Kara’s face was absolute terror. Lena inwardly panicking as she took in the expression. Kara quickly lifted herself off the couch, pulling down her skirt that had ridden up, fumbling and petrified.

“I’m so sorry, Lena. I just… I have to go.”

Kara raced out the door, she couldn’t get out fast enough, leaving Lena in her office- dazed, confused, alone.

And just like that, Lena’s entire world shattered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for sexual assault in the beginning of the chapter and mentions of rape at the end. It's not terribly graphic, but please don't read if you think these will trigger anything for you. Safe reading <3

Her heels clicked against the sidewalk in a steady staccato. The night air blowing her hair in cool wisps. She pulled her long jacket tighter around her, keeping her head down, sticking to the lightened end of the road.

The man was still behind her, she could hear the hit of his shoes against the floor, following her step. She tried not to panic or show she was afraid. It wasn’t the first time a man followed after her because of her line of work, nor the first time this _particular_ man attempted to walk her home.

He was calling after her, still asking for a “good time”. She told him plenty of times before that she didn’t do that, that she was a dancer, not some whore. Apparently tonight he was refusing to take the hint. She walked faster, her calves burning, her heart rate quickening.

He pursued her still, matching his pace to hers. He was too close to her. She had to get away. She only had a few blocks until she made it to the bus stop. She broke into a full sprint, her jacket flapping behind her like a cape, her arms swinging, her breath leaving in hard gasps. He chased after her, catching up easily.

She tried to scream, but it came out as a yelp as he took hold of her jacket, jerking her back hard. He pulled her into the dark alley nearby, slamming her back into the cold wall.

“Please. _Please, **don’t.**_ ”

Dirty hands gripped her. The smell of liquor filled her nostrils. He pressed his body against hers, crushing her, pinning her in place. She tried to kick and punch. It was no use, he was too strong. His eyes were wild, she knew what would happen next.

“I’m gonna make you feel _so good_ ,” he sneered into her ear, his hand around her throat, tightening.

She shut her eyes, the chill down her spine was paralyzing, her heart hammering through her chest. Why? Why, why, _**why…**_ Why didn’t she let her coworker take her home tonight? Why wasn’t she more careful? How could she be so stupid?

His lips, sloppy, wet, kissing on her neck. She wanted to disappear. His hand still on her throat, the other slipping under her coat and touching her laced thighs. She focused her eyes on a crack in the wall as they welled up with tears. She imagined slipping herself into the crack, falling into the floor, melting into the wall. He was slipping his hand into her underwear.

This was it.

But then, something clicked. She was thrashing, fighting, screaming.

“No! NO! _HELP!_ ” The sound ripped through her. He tried to cover her mouth, but she bit down on his hand. He yelled in pain.

“You stupid slut!” He slapped her across the jaw, and she fell to the floor. She braced herself, the rough asphalt cutting into her palms. He grabbed her ankles, pulling her back, her stomach scraping across the hard rocks.

She screamed again, “ _ **HELP!**_ ”

And then, a red-caped figure was throwing him away. He flew into the far off wall with a hard thud. The blonde haired woman ran towards him, a blur, then gripped him by his shirt with one hand, her other in a tightly balled fist. He was clawing her forearm, terror in his eyes, his head gashed and bleeding.

“Please, don’t hurt me!” he begged.

The powerful woman struck him. Once. Twice. She lifted her fist for another, but his body went slack, his arms falling, his head rolling to the side. She released her grip, his unconscious body falling to the floor.

She lay there on the blacktop, heart pounding, shock keeping her still. The blue-and-red suited woman was walking towards her. The fury in her expression immediately softening when their eyes locked.

_Supergirl._

“It’s okay, you’re safe now,” Supergirl said, extending her hand out. She took the offered hand, letting herself be pulled to her feet.

“Th- Thank you,” her voice cracked. She broke down then, the tears bursting through against her will. Supergirl pulled her into a hug. It was incredibly soft and comforting, Supergirl’s hand rubbing small circles against her back.

She cried until she couldn’t anymore, an ugly choking sob full of snot, all the while Supergirl held her. Steady. Safe. She pulled back, wiping the wet tracks down her face, and Supergirl gave her a tender smile.

“What’s your name?” her hero asked.

She was trying to catch her breath, the words choking in her throat, “My, my name is, A-Alex.”

Supergirl’s jaw clenched, so slightly it went unnoticed by Alex. Her sister’s face flashing in the forefront of her mind. She shook it off, now wasn’t the time, and quickly released her bite, smiling again easily. “Well, Alex, if it’s alright, I’d like to fly you to the hospital to get checked out.”

Alex violently shook her head no, her tears threatening to spill again. “I-I don’t want anyone t-to know,” she whispered, looking down at her feet.

She was embarrassed by her own stupidity. She felt like she deserved what was coming to her- she was an exotic dancer after all. She purposely aroused men for money, but never followed through with the implied promise. It was only a matter of time before a man tried to take what he thought he paid for. The last thing she wanted was everyone judging her.

Supergirl lowered her stance, her fingertips tilting Alex’s chin to meet her gaze. “Hey, it’s okay, Alex. This… this isn’t your fault.” A quiet understanding in her voice.

“But I had it coming! I’m a dancer, and he just wanted what he was owed. Plus, I could’ve ran faster! I could’ve fought harder! I was so scared, I almost let him…”

“No,” Supergirl cut her off. “You _did_ fight. You fought him off of you. You screamed and yelled and bought yourself enough time for me to get here. You did everything _right._ ”

She looked over at the predator’s still unconscious body, then back to Alex. “And no matter what you do, no man ever has a right to your body. _Ever._ ” Her voice was steel.

She was furious that Alex could ever think she deserved to be treated in such a way. But she couldn’t let Alex see her anger, she didn’t want the woman thinking she was upset with her. She took a calming breath, composing herself.

“But right now, I have to get you checked out to make sure you’re okay. Please?”

“Okay.” Alex agreed reluctantly. “But, will you stay with me once we get there? I-I don’t want to be left alone.”

“Of course. All night.”

Supergirl guided Alex’s hands around her neck, making sure she had a stable grip, then wrapped her own arm around Alex’s waist. She floated over to the dirtbag on the floor, grabbing him by the back of his shirt, and hoisted him over her free shoulder. She bent her knees slightly, and then lifted off into the night air, carrying them both to the hospital.

Once there, everything seemed to rush by. The police and Alex’s brother were called to meet them. Supergirl sat with Alex in the meantime, holding the woman’s hand as she was examined. Only a few cuts and bruises needed treating, and for that Supergirl was grateful.

The vile man, slowly coming back around, had a minor concussion and needed a few stitches for his head, but was otherwise unscathed. The police arrived and handcuffed him to the bed until he was conscious enough to take back to the station.

Alex’s brother showed, panic, then relief, washed over him as Supergirl explained what had happened and that his sister would be okay.

“Just be there for her and support her. It’s important that she know this wasn’t her fault. She might be shaken up for quite awhile, but as long as you’re there I know she can get through this.”

Alex was ready to be discharged after hours of questioning and waiting, the police collecting all the information they needed and the doctor pleased enough to let her go home to get some rest. Supergirl walked Alex to her brother’s car, he already in the driver’s seat.

Alex turned and gave Supergirl a tight hug. “Thank you, Supergirl. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. You’re my hero,” she sniffed, the words somewhat muffled in Supergirl’s shoulder.

Supergirl released the hug, opened the passenger door to allow Alex to get inside, and gently shut it behind her. She waved goodbye as the car rolled off, then shot into the early dawn sky.

She had to see her sister.

* * *

Lena awoke with a sharp pain between her eyes, her temples pounding. Everything ached as she rolled off the bed, the pads of her feet brushing against the cold morning floor. She sat for awhile, the air empty and chilling, the dam inside her threatening to break. Fingers gripped sheets, steadying as she teetered on the edge.

She reached to check her phone, but remembered dropping it with the rest of her belongings at the door. She opened her nightstand drawer and brought out a bottle of pain medication, popping two pills into her mouth, swallowing them dry.

Standing, she headed towards the master bath. She flicked the light, hurting her tired, sensitive eyes, and came face-to-face with someone she didn’t recognize. It was her face in the mirror, her features, but the person wasn’t her. This person before her was just a shell, a ghost of the person she once believed to be. Lena had always felt alone. But this, this was something else. This left her raw and bleeding, the cracks in her facade splitting her down the middle.

Lena’s jaw tightened, eyes welling with burning hot tears. She didn’t want this anymore. She was tired, so tired. The pain so deep she felt everything. She felt nothing. She wanted to thrash, to throw things, to scream until it stripped her throat, leaving it red and aching.

Instead, she swallowed it down like she was taught, like a Luthor would. Lena was going to do what she did best: pretend nothing was wrong. She would rebuild her walls and act as if the only friend in her life hadn’t severed her heart in two.

She began to get ready, deciding to keep her hair down, a veil. She applied her makeup next- her eyes lined in black, her lips blood red, and just enough blush to give her face life. She went to her closet, slipping on a black dress that hugged her in all the right places, and a pair of tall red heels.

Lena stared at herself in her full-body mirror, her mask perfectly placed, her outfit making her look more powerful than she felt. It was easier looking at herself this way. She squared her jaw, the final door inside her slammed shut. She put on her coat, and gathered her things. She checked her phone, but not even so much a text from Kara. She locked the door behind her with a final resolve.

She would never let anyone else in again.

* * *

 Kara knocked on Alex’s apartment door frantically, barely holding her super-strength back from tearing the door off its hinges.

After she saved that woman, Alex, she had to make sure her sister was okay. It was irrational, Kara knew, because her sister was a highly trained professional who could take care of herself. Still, her emotions got the better of her, and here she was. Alex was taking too long for her liking, though.

She knocked again, using her x-ray vision to see if her sister was getting up from bed. It was still early, the sun just beginning to peek out from it’s slumber. She knocked once more and saw the lump in her sister’s bed begin to rouse. It got up and headed towards the room door lazily, dragging it’s feet. Kara fought back the urge to bust down the door, anxiously switching the weight on her feet.

The lump finally got to the front door, and began unlocking the chain. Once the door was open, Kara all but flew through, wrapping her arms around her sister’s neck and waist.

“Alex! Thank Rao you’re okay!”

“Of course I’m okay, Kara, I was sleeping,” Alex, a little more than confused, choked out from the suffocating hug. It was tender yet frantic, like Kara was afraid to let go, and it meant something was wrong.

Alex squeezed her sister, reassuring her. “Hey, I’m okay, Kara. I promise.” She extended her arms slightly, pushing Kara back so she could look at her face.

She did a once over on Kara. Her face was pale, not the usual sunshine glow she possessed. Her clothes were a frantic mess, like she had gotten dressed in a hurry, and her glasses tilted on the bridge of her nose. She cupped her sister’s worried face in both hands, the crinkle in her brow prominent.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Did you just come back from saving someone?”

Kara hung her head, defeated, and nodded in confirmation. Alex sighed, this wasn't the first time a save got to Kara.

“Why don’t we sit down and talk about it?”

They made their way to the couch, Alex sitting down first and guiding Kara’s head to lay in her lap, Kara’s legs bent and her feet flat on the cushions. She looked like the world was crushing in on her, her eyelids painted purple in exhaustion. Alex stroked her baby sister’s hair soothingly, patiently waiting for her to talk.

“I saved a woman in an alley last night… Her name was Alex, too, and it freaked me out a little. We were at the hospital for a while and then I came straight here to check up on you. That’s all,” Kara said finally.

“That’s all?” Alex asked, looking down at Kara skeptically. She knew her sister, and Kara knew that Alex knew her sister, so why the run-around? “Come on, Kara, I know you. I know that’s not all. Tell me.”

Kara let out a shaky breath, covering her eyes with her forearm, “I just… I heard her screaming blocks away, so I rushed in to save her. When I got there... she was being dragged all over the ground, begging for help.” She sat up quickly then, her back to Alex, her muscles tense. She fixed her eyes to the far wall, staring blankly, her mind recalling the man in her grip.

“It was sickening, Alex,” she whispered, more to herself than her sister. “I threw him so hard. It took so much of me not to keep hitting him over, and over, and over. He almost…” She ground her teeth down, the veins in her neck taut. Alex placed her hand on Kara’s shoulder, a gentle reassurance.

“He almost raped her!” Kara cried out. “And the worst part of it: she thought she deserved it! All because of who she was, she thought she got what was coming to her.” She was shaking her head, her eyes shut tight.

“I just don’t understand how anyone could think they deserve that! How, Alex!?” Tears were streaming down her face now, the anger in her seething. She dropped her head into her hands, letting it roll over her in waves.

Alex reached her arms around Kara’s waist, resting her head against her back. She could feel the jaggedness in Kara’s breathing, her heart punching through her chest.

“Sometimes.. People think they deserve bad things, because everyone else thinks that they’re bad,” Alex reasoned to Kara. “Sometimes they just need someone to show them that they aren’t.”

Suddenly, Kara’s mind flashed a face of someone else who needed to be shown how good they really were.

Lena.

Kara groaned into her hands. She gathered herself, reeling the line of emotions back in. Lena had opened herself up to Kara, and she just left without an explanation. _I’m such an idiot._

Kara twisted, releasing Alex’s hug, letting her feet hit the ground, and cupped her tired sister’s face.

“I’m sorry I woke you, thank you so much for listening to me.” Kara placed a gentle kiss to Alex’s forehead. “But I have something I have to take care of.”

Maybe it was still too early, because Alex didn’t question it. Instead she looked into Kara’s eyes, searching, and said a simple, “okay.”

They both stood up, Kara wiping the dried stains down her cheeks, and hugged goodbye. Kara reached for the doorknob to leave, Alex calling from where she stand in front of the couch.

“We’ll talk about this later?”

Kara turned, giving her a quick nod and smile, and then was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was particularly hard to write, but if it just sucks I'll take it down and rewrite. I'll be honest here and say I'm not completely sure where I was taking this story, but it's slowly shaping in my head and I hope you guys will enjoy the product.


End file.
